The Allnighter
by avoidingnemo
Summary: The Cohens go out of town for the night leaving Ryan and Seth home alone. What trouble can they get into?


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: A HUGE thank you to joey for helping me find the story inside all my many errors.

"Boys, we're leaving. We trust you to behave and remember what we said. NO girls," Sandy said.  
  
This was the first time since Seth's little trip to Catalina and Ryan's little visit to Chino that the Cohen's had left the boys at home alone. Seth came back after three days. Apparently, solitude and Seth didn't really go well together. Ryan came back a few weeks later after Theresa lost the baby. Sandy had to go to Chino and drag Ryan's ass home, but he was home, and that was what mattered.  
  
"Come on, Dad. Don't you trust us?" Seth whined.  
  
Sandy raised his eyebrows and gave Seth a look that said, 'Do you really need me to answer that?'  
  
"No girls. Got it," Seth said.  
  
"Bye, Sandy. Have a good time. No girls. We got it," Ryan jumped in trying to get Sandy to leave before Seth said something stupid that would change the Cohens' minds about going.  
  
After the parents left, Seth turned to Ryan rubbing his hands together. "So, bro, what should we do tonight? A little Playstation? Catch an IMAX movie? Invite the girls over for a slumber party?"  
  
"Seth, you heard your dad. No girls. Besides, Luke is coming over. We can just hang out here tonight."  
  
"But I thought this was Seth/Ryan time. Not Seth/Ryan/Luke time. Why is Luke coming?" Seth whined like a three year old. He couldn't help but reflect on all the times Luke kicked his ass for no reason.  
  
"Look, Luke is cool now. Besides, he still hasn't made any new friends since moving back to Newport."  
  
Both boys jumped when the doorbell rang. Ryan, grateful for an excuse to escape Seth's ramblings, answered the door. Moments later, he returned to the living room, with Luke in tow.  
  
"So what do you want to do tonight?" Luke asked. The guys just shrugged their shoulders. "I figured you two wouldn't have anything planned. Good thing I brought along some entertainment," Luke said smiling.  
  
"Oh God, please tell me you didn't bring your guitar," Seth groaned without thinking.  
  
"Cohen, I swear I'm going to...." Luke was cut off by a glare from Ryan. "No, I brought something better," Luke said while shaking the video tape he had been holding in his hand since his arrival at the house.  
  
"Oh, so we're going to watch a movie all night? Real manly. Great idea for guys' night. What is it, _Bambi_?" Seth mocked sarcastically.  
  
"No, it isn't _Bambi_. God, Cohen, you're the only who'd assume I'd bring over some lame-ass Disney movie."  
  
Ryan caught on immediately. Smiling, he folded his arms over his chest and watched to see how long it would take Seth to catch on.  
  
"What? What's so funny? D'you know what movie he brought?" Seth directed his question at Ryan, but didn't give him a chance to answer. "Oh, is it a comedy? Like _National Lampoons Vegas Vacation_. I do love the Vegas...even in the movies."  
  
"No, Cohen. Look at the title," Luke said, trying to stay calm.  
  
'Chino would kick my ass if I touched Cohen. But damn, how does he put up with that kid?' Luke thought to himself.  
  
Seth read the title out loud. "Debbie Does Dallas."  
  
Luke smiled. "It's a classic."  
  
Seth's eyes grew large. "Is that a.... Is that?"  
  
"Seth, just breathe. Calm down. It's just a porno. No big deal," Ryan said while trying to hide his laughter.  
  
'God, Seth is so sheltered. Hell, Trey gave me porn for my birthday every year since I was twelve after he caught Theresa and I going at it,' Ryan reflected with a smile.  
  
"I can't watch..._that_." Seth pointed to the video in Luke's hand before continuing. Summer will kill me."  
  
"Summer isn't here. She'll never know," Luke countered.  
  
"Yeah, like Marissa didn't find out about you and her mom?"  
  
"Come on, Seth. It isn't that big of a deal. But if you don't want to watch, you can go upstairs and call Summer. Luke and I are watching it," Ryan said sternly, not allowing for any further discussion on the matter.  
  
"Fine, I'm in," Seth said as he got comfortable in a chair. "But if Summer finds out, my death is on your hands. Can you live with that? Because...."  
  
Ryan cut Seth's ramblings off. "Just start the damn tape," Ryan said, annoyed.  
  
'Never in my life, have I had to work so hard to watch a damn porno. I used to get the girls I was with to watch with less trouble. I wonder if Marissa would watch one,' Ryan thought to himself as a smile spread across his face.

* * *

'Debbie hasn't even done half of Dallas and I've already repositioned myself a hundred times,' Seth thought while grabbing at the inseam of his jeans.  
  
He stole a look over at Luke and Ryan. They both seemed to be handling this okay.  
  
'God, is that position even possible?' Seth thought as he turned his head sideways to get a better view. As more moans came from the TV, Seth's pants became tighter. "Okay if I don't do something to get my mind off of.... Oh, is she really going to.... Wait, I can't think about that. 1, 2, 3.... Isn't that what Summer told me to do? Count to get my mind off of....The moans of pleasure coming from the very naked and very hot Debbie. 4, 5, 6.... Oh, Debbie is very bendy." Seth moved in the chair again at the same time that Debbie was screaming with pleasure.  
  
Seth groaned.  
  
"Damnit, Cohen. If you moan or move in that damn chair one more time, I'm going to kick your ass. Go to the bathroom and...take care of yourself. Do whatever, but quit moaning," Luke snapped.  
  
'God, Chino's over there looking calm and I feel like Seth. I wonder if Julie would be interested in a booty call. Sure, she's with that old man now, but I'm sure that I can give her what he can't.'  
  
Ryan looked over at Luke. He seemed okay.  
  
'I'm about to die here. Damn, why didn't I wear my sweatpants that I sleep in?'  
  
"Umm.... Guys, I think I'm going to go," Luke said. Then he smiled. "I'm going to go see if I can find a girl to get rid of my.... I'm just going to go."  
  
Ryan laughed. "Yeah, see you later, man."  
  
Luke waited until he was outside and then called Julie's cell. She said she would meet him at the Mermaid Inn in 30 minutes. Debbie made Luke forget about the trouble that being with Julie would cause. All he thought about was his own needs.  
  
Ryan and Seth continued to watch Debbie. Seth moved around in the chair again. "Seth, why don't you call Summer or something? Really, you don't have to watch this," Ryan stated.  
  
"Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna call Summer. I'll be back later."  
  
"Oh, and Seth? Make sure you clean the shower when you're done."  
  
"Oh...oh, you're funny. I thought we decided I'm the funny one. You're the broody one. I'm the funny one." Seth walked upstairs to his room.

* * *

"Hello? Cohen, is that you? Why are you calling me? I thought it was guys' night," Summer said.  
  
"I need you...over here. Now!" Seth could barely form thoughts, much less sentences.  
  
Summer's expression changed to concern. "Okay, Seth I'm on my way. Is everything Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, just come...oh." 'Don't say come',' Seth thought to himself. "Just hurry." He hung up the phone and went downstairs to wait. He didn't know why he didn't go to the bathroom and handle this problem himself. Attacking Summer at the door seemed like a better option.

* * *

Summer turned to Marissa. "That was weird. Seth could barely talk and that's saying a lot for him. He just said he needed me over there now."  
  
"Is everything okay? Is he all right? Is Ryan okay?"  
  
"Yeah, everything's fine. Actually, he sounded like he does when...." Summer suddenly realized what was going on.  
  
"Sum, why are you changing into that skirt? It barely covers your ass. What is this all about?"  
  
"Cohen thinks he can call me over for a booty call because he and Chino have been watching porn. I'm going to make him pay! That ass!"  
  
Marissa laughed. "You really think they're watching porn?"  
  
"Come on, Coop. It's guys' night and Seth calls begging me to come over, sounding like he does when I'm teasing him during.... They're watching porn. Let's go."  
  
"Has Seth ever even seen porn before?" Marissa asked through laughter.

* * *

The girls arrived at the Cohen house in record time. Seth answered the door before the girls were barely out of the car. "Good Lord," he said while looking Summer up and down. He moaned slightly.  
  
"Where's Ryan? I'm going to go find him before I see something here that I don't want to see," Marissa said while walking toward the house.  
  
"He's in the living room," Seth answered without even thinking of what Ryan was watching on the TV.  
  
Marissa walked off laughing. 'Sum's right. They're watching porn,' she thought while making her way to the living room, following the sounds of Debbie doing Dallas.   
  
Summer walked into the house and Seth shut the door behind her. She turned and pinned him to the closed door. She started kissing him hard. Seth responded and started to run his hand up her tiny skirt.  
  
Summer pulled away. "We can't.... Not here."  
  
"What? Why?" Seth whined like a child in a candy store that was just told no.  
  
Summer's face turned from loving to pissed. She slapped Seth's arm hard.  
  
"Ow. What was that for?" Seth asked while rubbing his arm. 'Damn those rage blackouts of hers.'  
  
"That's for thinking you and Chino can watch Debbie doing Dallas or whatever porn you are watching and then call me over to help you out with your little problem," Summer said with her hands on her hips while looking from Seth's eyes to his crotch and back to his eyes.  
  
'Does everyone know about Debbie except for me?' Seth thought, bewildered.  
  
Seth's face softened as he realized what an ass he was being. "Look, Summer, I'm sorry. Okay?" he asked while tilting her head up with his finger so he could look into her eyes while apologizing.  
  
She smiled and nodded her head. She took his hand and started to lead him up the stairs. "So, Cohen why don't we see what we can do about that problem of yours?" she asked while smiling seductively.  
  
"Whatever you say, Summer. Whatever, you say."  
  
Once inside Seth's room, he remembered one of the positions from the porno. "Hey Summer, are you bendy?" he asked while coming in close and kissing her neck. She laughed. They fell back on the bed together.

* * *

"Hey, Ryan. What are you watching?" Marissa asked as she walked into the living room.  
  
Ryan immediately reached for the remote and hit the stop button. Baseball filled the TV screen. "Just watching the game."  
  
"Oh yeah? Who's winning?" she asked with a laugh.  
  
"Ummm.... What are...you doing here?"  
  
"Seth called Summer. He said it was an emergency."  
  
Ryan laughed. "C'mon, let's go to the pool house. They could be awhile."

* * *

The next morning, Summer woke up and looked at the clock. "Seth, wake up. I've got to get Coop and get out of here before your parents get home."  
  
Seth and Summer rushed to get dressed. They only slowed down long enough to kiss goodbye. He promised he'd call her later.  
  
Summer jogged out to the pool house and knocked rapidly on the door several times. She entered with one hand covering her eyes.  
  
'No way do I want to see Coop and Chino naked. Wait, Chino has been working out.... No. I still don't want to see. That is just...Ew!'  
  
"Coop, get up. We've got to go before the Cohens get back. They'll ground Chino and Cohen for, like, ever if they find us here. C'mon."  
  
Marissa woke up to Summer shaking her. Once she realized she was still in the pool house, Marissa jumped out of bed. She was still fully clothed from where she and Ryan fell asleep waiting on Seth and Summer the night before.  
  
Ryan was still half asleep. He lifted his head off his pillow, waved as if to say goodbye and laid his head back down. Marissa kissed Ryan on the cheek and left with Summer.

* * *

Sandy and Kirsten decided Palm Springs wasn't as much fun as they had hoped for. Kirsten didn't want to golf and Sandy didn't want to go to the spa. They opted for staying in and getting up early the next morning and going back to Newport.  
  
As they approached the gated community they lived in, Sandy noticed a white jeep pass by.  
  
'Hmm, that looks like Summer and Marissa. They're up early. Must be going to the beach' Sandy thought to himself. 'But wait. Why are they coming from the direction of my house? Oh, the boys are dead,' Sandy thought, gripping the steering wheel.  
  
"Great, they forgot to lock the door. Someone could have come in, killed them both and stolen everything." Sandy shook his head as he walked into the house, followed by his wife.  
  
"Honey, your mother is rubbing off on you. I'm sure the boys just forgot. It's no big deal. It's a gated community, I'm sure they're fine."  
  
Kirsten went upstairs to their bedroom while Sandy walked into the living room. He noticed the TV and VCR were still on. He walked over and ejected the tape. "Debbie does Dallas," he read out loud. "Oh, you boys are so dead." He turned in time to see both boys heading in his direction. A look of knowing crossed their faces. They knew they were busted.  
  
"Either one of you care to explain this tape to me?" Sandy asked, waving the tape around in the air. His eyes focused intensely on one boy then the other.  
  
"It's Luke's," Seth blurted out.  
  
"I think I'll just hang on to this," Sandy responded, still clearly upset as he turned to walk away. Suddenly, he stopped and turned back around to face the boys. "You're both grounded for two weeks."  
  
"What? Why? For the tape? Come on, Dad," Seth whined in disbelief.  
  
"Not just the tape, son. I saw Summer and Marissa leaving from this direction this morning. Now, I find out that you two have been watching porn. I'm not stupid, Seth. We said no girls. We meant that."  
  
"Seth, it's fine. I'm sorry, Sandy," Ryan said, hoping his participation in the conversation will shut Seth up.  
  
"Okay, boys, I'll see you later. Kirsten does enjoy the Debbie. It's a classic. Think I'll go show her what I have. Don't worry, I won't tell her where I got it from," Sandy said smiling.  
  
"Oh God...Dad...don't...that is just _so_ wrong!" Seth exclaimed.  
  
'Apparently everyone DOES know about Debbie, even my parents,' Seth thought to himself with a shudder.  
  
Sandy walked off smiling. Later, he'd figure out what reasoning to give Kirsten behind the boys' grounding. But upon second thought, he might even let the boys off the hook. When he'd told them that Kirsten enjoyed the Debbie, the look on their faces was satisfaction enough. They won't be disobeying the no girls rule or watching porn again anytime soon.  
  
Sandy chuckled. "Now I'm going to go see if the Debbie can work some magic on the Kirsten."  
  
Ryan and Seth both looked a little sick as they watched him walk away.  
  
"I'm never watching porn again." Seth continued to stare in the direction that Sandy had just left.  
  
"Me neither, man. Me neither." 


End file.
